Last updated: October 13, 2026
You’re minding your business, nothing exciting going on, and then suddenly your 25-year-old coworker comes to you and tells you about how you remind them of their dad… Emm, what? By the way, you’re 45, not like 70 or something. What’s going on? You’re not THAT old. Right?
As far as you’re concerned, you’re 2 adults chatting, so why does your colleague think they’re chatting with someone who could be their dad?
Stuff like this catches you off guard when you’re 45. You know you’re 45, but to you, it’s just a number. You’re not old, and you don’t think of yourself as ‘middle-aged’ either. You’re thinking about your weekend plans when someone starts the sentence with “At your age…”
To be fair, you HAVE changed since you were 25, and you’re grateful for that. You’ve gained some experience; your priorities are different, but you were too busy living while those changes were happening to notice that you’re now the ‘older’ person in the room.
The gap between people’s chronological and their subjective ages tends to widen as people get older. – PubMed
And yet you feel young.
It’s not that you want to go back 20 years, but it’s surprising when you realize that other people now see this sort of boundary, and you never noticed you were crossing it.
Why You Don’t Feel Your Calendar Age
When you say you feel like you’re 25, you most likely don’t say you want the salary or the apartment you had back then.
It’s not like you want that life. It’s being you that feels so familiar, only now you have more experience, and you’ve changed your mind about a lot of things since then. Your 40th birthday didn’t make you suddenly interested in Mahjong, and you didn’t change your sense of humor when you hit that milestone.
The age you feel is your subjective age, and it doesn’t necessarily match your birthday.
People 40+ feel approximately 20% younger than their actual age. – PubMed
It also doesn’t mean you forgot your age. You can be completely aware of the fact that you’re 45 or 50 and still be shocked when you notice someone else sees you that way.
Weird, isn’t it?
And you’ve had years to get used to your life as it changed, but you were busy learning the job when you got promoted, and you were working out how to pay for everything when you became responsible for your household. You didn’t pause to think about how old you were.
Then someone you work with tells you they were born in 2001, and your flabbers are gashed. Wasn’t 2001 10 years ago? Aren’t people born in 2001 still in middle school? You were in college back then and you had a job, friends, plans… You were driving!
To them, though, it’s a year they don’t remember because they barely knew they were alive.
What Changes When People Start Calling You ‘Older’
You go about your day trying not to think about the number of candles on your last birthday cake. Then you suddenly notice people talking to you differently. Perhaps you’ve only noticed now; you aren’t really sure.
For example, now when you plan out your weekend doing more than just sitting in front of the TV and complaining about ‘kids these days’, people are genuinely shocked. As if you no longer have the energy to do more than one thing per day.
It’s as if the younger generation has already decided what your character and your capabilities are for you.
People Mistake Your Experience for Your Limits
What this means is that people think you’re no longer capable of learning new things, new technology, simply because you’re 40+.
Here’s a great real-world example:
You’re working one day and then, out of the blue, a younger coworker comes to you and just assumes you’re ancient, and you OBVIOUSLY don’t know how to use modern computers, and they start explaining to you how to upload a file.
You take no offense, and simply say that you know how to do it, which is followed by (positive) shock. They’re genuinely surprised you know how to upload a file.
A bit later, that same coworker asks you to share some wisdom on a problem they’ve encountered, because you obviously have lived for a long time, so you must have some useful advice.
You don’t mind helping, of course, and you’ll appreciate an explanation if you need it, but someone offering help before you’ve batted an eyelash makes you wonder why they think you need it. And if it keeps happening, you won’t want to ask even if you actually needed something.
This makes learning REALLY awkward, even though everyone’s asking the same questions.
Everyone Expects Your Life to Be Sorted
You tell your friend you want a different job, and they’re shocked at the fact that you want that ‘now’. Like – you’re too old to start over.
Meanwhile, for you, that doesn’t mean you need to restart your life.
And even though you know it shouldn’t, that comment got to you, especially when you think about how all your friends stayed in one career. You might even feel embarrassed because you’re supposed to have everything figured out by now.
The truth is, nobody’s got everything figured out, regardless of their age. Don’t feel pressured to give anyone an explanation simply because you’re trying out new things. It’s your life, not theirs.
Think about the practical side, though, like pay and training.
Your Interests Are Judged Against Your Age
Gaming at the ripe age of 45? Playing Spyro instead of Sudoku? Buying a concert ticket instead of complaining about a sore back?
People often look at you as someone who hasn’t grown up; you haven’t yet accepted reality- your age. And of course, it’s completely normal that this makes you wonder whether that’s the case.
And you didn’t worry about any of that until a friend made a joke about you being too old for this and that. But now, every time you decide to do something, start a new hobby, perhaps relax with your PlayStation for a bit – which is all normal – you start feeling weird about it (like you’re doing something wrong).
Be honest with yourself because there’s no point in living your life for others. If you want to stay in and read a book, do that because you truly feel like doing that. If you want to go to a concert and dance the night away, then do that.
Don’t be embarrassed about doing whatever it is that makes you happy.
Health Purchases Become Proof of Your Age
A 20-year-old influencer buying hair vitamins wants to be healthy. But if a 45-year -old does the same thing, then it must be because they can’t accept their age and they’re trying to stay youthful for as long as possible.
Perspective changes depending on who’s doing the action (more precisely, how old that person is).
You look at a wellness product, and you hear a joke about getting old, and you find yourself explaining that you were justlooking; you don’t really use that stuff, he-he-he, let’s change the subject. Or you might go the other way and buy something because you want to feel like you’re keeping up. Neither is really ideal here.
If you’re researching dietary supplements, like a Khavinson peptide bioregulator, just make sure to know what you’re taking into your body. Always read the label, ask about the ingredients, and whatever you do, don’t make it into a verdict on being 45.
You Become the Responsible One by Default
You’re out with younger colleagues, and you’re the one getting handed the restaurant bill to work out how much everyone has to pay.
Did you ask for it? No.
But you’re older now. And apparently that means that you’re now the only one who knows how to split the drinks and knows how much we should tip. You kind of become this reliable organizer of the group. And for a while, that’s kind of fun/cool. But if it keeps repeating, then you start feeling the pressure while everyone else is relaxed, ‘knowing’ you’ll handle everything.
Just keep in mind that you can be good at those things without having to do them every time, because why wouldn’t you be the one sitting back and relaxing for a change?
Conclusion
Getting older is strange, and it can really mess with your emotions and self-perception. And no matter how many times someone tells you that aging is a privilege, you still won’t like being placed in the ‘older’ category.
And there’s nothing wrong with that. Society always leans towards putting youth above. But this tends to create weird situations sometimes.
But yeah, the next time you encounter one of those situations, think about what exactly you’re supposed to be old for in that particular situation.
Too old to enjoy it? Too old to afford it? Or too old for someone else to approve?
The point is – live your life for yourself, and if it makes you happy, then you’re not too old for it.
And yes, it’s that simple!
